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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29159436">Generation Lost</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bingebabyren/pseuds/bingebabyren'>bingebabyren</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:22:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,909</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29159436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bingebabyren/pseuds/bingebabyren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>*this is not finished, I don't know how to fix that 😅*</p><p>(Institutionalized - Suicidal Tendencies)</p><p>"Hey Renjun, you know, we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately, you know?<br/>You should maybe get away, and like, maybe you should talk about it you'll feel a lot better."</p><p>And I go, "No it's okay, you know?<br/>I'll figure it out, just leave me alone.<br/>I'll figure it out, you know?<br/>I'm just working on myself."</p><p>They go, "Well you know, if you want to talk  about it<br/>I'll be here, you know,<br/>and you'll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it, so why don't you talk about it?"<br/>And I go, "NO I don't want to, I'm okay!<br/>I'll figure it out myself!"</p><p>-</p><p>Best friends Renjun and Yangyang struggle with adulthood, all the awful, no good stuff that comes with it. They find themselves falling down a similar path, that isn't good for anyone.</p><p>"There are people who need you here," he said, aggressively wiping his tears away. "I do."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Moon Taeil, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Moon Taeil/Nakamoto Yuta, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Generation Lost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Renjun really hated his job.</p><p>He felt guilty for complaining, and he tried his best not to, but sometimes he really couldn't help it. Some nights — like tonight, he seriously considered walking out and living in the woods with the deer and the raccoons. They'd treat him better than the customers did, he had no doubt.</p><p>He wasn't a waiter. He wasn't a waiter, a fact that slipped the minds of most people — even the regulars, especially them — as they shouted at him every time he passed with an armful of dirty dishes or a heavy bucket full of bleach water, because there was a problem with their food or their server hadn't stopped by in fifteen whole minutes because they were understaffed on a Friday night . . . Renjun was not a waiter.</p><p>He told them this, time and time again. </p><p>
  <em>But can't you do it? How hard is your job? Or, Can you get that waitress? The one with the silly hair?</em>
</p><p><em>No</em>, he wanted to say. <em>I can't</em>.</p><p>But he never did. He'd shuffle off with his arms full (they always caught him at the worst times), and the second he passed through the doors into the kitchen, he'd practically throw the dishes into the sink.</p><p>"What a fucking bitch," He'd hiss to no one in particular. "Cunt, cock sucker, fucking—"</p><p>"Renjun—"</p><p>"<em>Can you get her for me? Can you? Can you explain to me why, why is she taking so long?</em>" Renjun mocked, raising his voice to an annoying whine, ignoring Taeil and the hands on his shoulder. "Fuck you, lady."</p><p>He turned away from the sink, wiping his hands on his very stained apron, and scanned the kitchen for 'the waitress with the silly hair'.</p><p>No sign of her, so he stormed off towards the walk-in cooler where most of the employees (basically everyone who wasn't in management, or a snitch) took their breaks. He angrily threw the door open and was immediately met with a cloud of smoke and choked coughing.</p><p>Jaehyun sat, leaning back against a crate of frozen french fries with an arm over his face as he seemed to be attempting to hack out a lung.</p><p>Seulgi sat on an overturned milk crate, holding a  marbled blue pipe. It faced away from her, she must've taken it from Jaehyun so he wouldn't drop it as he coughed.</p><p>Jaehyun spat on the floor.</p><p>Renjun's lip curled in disgust.</p><p>"What's up, little man?" Seulgi asked once she'd taken a hit for herself, the smoke leaving her lips as she spoke. She let out an extra breath to expel the rest through her teeth. </p><p>'The waitress with the silly hair' was one way to describe her, but Renjun thought it was a bit insulting. 'Silly' wasn't a strong enough word for her.</p><p>Her hair was split black and silver, cut in choppy layers. She had it up in a very large, very messy bun on the top of her head. She wore a black bandana, which held her Betty Bangs in place, something incredibly hard to pull off and yet she did it perfectly.</p><p>She wore huge, silver hoops decorated with silver roses that clinked every time she moved, and she had long, claw-like red nails.</p><p>As a waitress, she had to wear a uniform. A yellow ochre button up with the option of pants or a skirt, either of which had to be either black or khaki (yellow ochre and khaki? Renjun wanted to puke). Seulgi wore a black pencil skirt.</p><p>Renjun had heard from the other employees that Seulgi had dressed way down when she first started, saying she wanted to establish her place before getting brave, testing to see how far she could go with her own style before she was asked to stop.</p><p>Clearly, that hadn't happened yet, because she was still going. Now, if Renjun hadn't seen her outside of work, he wouldn't think her style was all that "out-there", but for a waitress in a small town full of middle aged women who ask about the wine (ma'am, this a truck-stop diner, best we can do is Busch Light in a Coca Cola glass), greasy, scruffy looking men who ask you to smile, and old people . . . Renjun could understand why she got some looks.</p><p>Still, he thought she looked nice.</p><p>"You've been summoned by the insufferable gremlin at table six."</p><p>Seulgi groaned. "Fuck," she hissed, shoving the pipe at Jaehyun, who took it with fumbling hands. She pulled a sample vial of perfume from her half apron and proceeded to spritz it up and down her body.</p><p>Jaehyun waited until she stepped out of the cooler to take another hit, and Renjun apologized profusely to Seulgi as she hurried off.</p><p>"You look stressed."</p><p>Renjun turned to Jaehyun, his eyes narrowed. "Do I?"</p><p>"Why don't you quit?"</p><p>"Why don't <em>you</em> quit?"</p><p>Jaehyun frowned. "Touché"</p><p>Jaehyun had a lot of the same issues that Renjun himself had, only the other way around. Jaehyun was a waiter (one of the more popular ones, he always got really good tips — Seulgi had accused him of flirting extra with the girls and the gays, which he denied every time, although Renjun had seen it enough times to know that he was a dirty liar), and was always getting complaints from customers that there was a mess somewhere in the diner, or one of the tables wasn't getting cleaned fast enough, to which Jaehyun said the same thing Renjun always did when there was a food complaint: <em>What the fuck am I supposed to do about that?</em></p><p>But as much as they both complained, Renjun and Jaehyun had both agreed that they'd never want to trade positions.</p><p>Jaehyun was good with people, he was charming, he could answer any question, he had almost the entire menu memorized, prices and all, and he could usually keep his cool no matter how difficult, rude, or obnoxious a customer was being.</p><p>Renjun couldn't do any of that. Now, he wouldn't describe himself to be mean, not at all. He just had no patience, and he absolutely could not keep his temper. No, he wasn't mean . . . just angry.</p><p>Renjun thought about Jaehyun's question again.</p><p>Why didn't he quit?</p><p>It was the summer after graduation. He wasn't in school anymore, and he still wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He didn't have a clue, so how could he choose a school? Renjun figured he'd keep working at the same diner he'd been at since he was fourteen, until he made up his mind.</p><p>His chunk of the rent wasn't too expensive, after being split between three people. Renjun only had to pay about $330 a month. He paid for groceries every now and then, but he wasn't usually around for meals so he made up for it by doing most of the chores — which wasn't too hard either since it was rare for the three of them to be home at the same time —and if they were, usually they would be asleep.</p><p>Renjun could scrape up $330 easily with pretty much any job, he didn't need to stay at the diner. But as much as he complained, as much as he hated it, he had seniority over a lot of people. Renjun got to pick his hours (for the most part), he got weekends off, and he was never forced into waiting tables or interacting with customers (but, of course, it was inevitable) Renjun wasn't too sure that he could get the same benefits anywhere else.</p><p>"Sometimes I wish I'd let Jungwoo teach me his ways," Jaehyun said, before striking the lighter a few times and raising the pipe to his lips.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>Jaehyun held up a finger until he lowered the pipe, and exhaled the smoke from his nose.</p><p>"His job has to be so much more fun —" he paused to cough, and Renjun thought he might actually throw up this time, but Jaehyun continued with teary eyes, ". . . than this, you know?"</p><p>"Yeah," Renjun agreed, though he could never think of himself doing what Jungwoo did for a living.</p><p>He had a huge respect for it, don't get it twisted. He'd seen Jungwoo perform only once. It was in a bar (Renjun was only seventeen at the time and was only allowed in because Kun was with him), and Rupaul's "Call Me Mother" was playing. Renjun hadn't been paying much attention at first, not until he heard Kun loudly calling out Jungwoo's name and clapping.</p><p>When he turned towards the stage (his past self didn't know bars had stages, but present Renjun now understood that the bar they went to was literally built for shows like this), Jungwoo and a few others were putting on a very powerful dance performance. Every so often, one of them would wander off towards the edge of the stage, lip synching directly to certain people, and Renjun watched in amazement as a woman (who was clearly there with her boyfriend/husband, whatever) tucked a fifty dollar bill into Jungwoo's top while he wrapped himself around her, pressing his cheek against hers and caressing the boyfriend's neck at the same time. They were both clearly enjoying themselves.</p><p>Renjun had never seen Jungwoo act like this before, and, to be fair, he hadn't actually known what Jungwoo's job even was until that night.</p><p>He couldn't say he was surprised, though. Jungwoo was an entertainer, no matter where he was or who he was with. Jungwoo out of drag was somehow just as grand as he was on stage.</p><p>Yangyang, Renjun's best friend and second roommate, was in a similar situation as he was.</p><p>Yangyang worked an early morning shift at a gas station. Renjun would hear him get up to shower at 2am, and wouldn't see him again until 10pm. He would work the 2:30-7:30 shift by himself —he'd complained many times about how the first few hours dragged, as he'd only have one or two customers come in to pay for gas, maybe grab an energy drink or a candy bar. Then he'd get the first morning rush, when middle aged men and women who hated their lives would drag themself inside for coffee and the Sunday paper before heading to their boring, office jobs.</p><p>After work, he'd go straight to school. He only had a few months left of his automotive course, and Renjun couldn't wait. Yangyang was barely home, and when he was, he was either sleeping, or having a meltdown in Kun's room because he was so overwhelmed and exhausted. </p><p>Yangyang wanted to work on cars. He'd told Renjun that he used to want to be a racecar driver, but the odds just weren't in his favor. As long as Renjun had known him, Yangyang always liked taking things apart and putting them back together with the occasional modification, and he thought that pursuing a career in mechanics was fitting.</p><p>He was glad that Yangyang already had a plan, though he had to admit, sometimes, he was a little jealous. Part of him was afraid that he'd be stuck in the diner, customers treating him like trash, forever.</p><p>The rest of his shift went as usual.</p><p>He'd flipped the sign to closed and locked the doors after the wait-staff had left (a few hung around, as usual).</p><p>Jaehyun and Seulgi sat at one of the booths with fountain sodas, waiting for Renjun to finish cleaning.</p><p>He finished vacuuming under every table and chair around the same time Taeil finished washing dishes.</p><p>"You guys ready?" Seulgi asked, shoving her drink into Jaehyun's hand while she pulled on her winter jacket.</p><p>"How'd you guys do with tips?" Taeil asked as he turned to hold the door open for the rest of them.</p><p>"Forty-five," Jaehyun said, shaking his head. "Not my best."</p><p>"Fifty-one," Seulgi said smugly, sticking out her tongue. "Plus change."</p><p>Jaehyun gasped, pressing the palm of his free hand to his cheek in mock surprise. "Plus change?"</p><p>"Mhmm, forty-six cents from the —how'd you put it, Renjun? The insufferable gremlin at table six. Jealous?"</p><p>"Maybe," Jaehyun shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. Renjun walked at his side behind Seulgi and Taeil, the two walking in an odd side-step to join conversation on the narrow sidewalk. "Where are you guys headed?"</p><p>"I've got a shit ton of stuff to do tomorrow," Seulgi said as she combed her fingers through her hair, which bent in all different directions from the bun she'd had it in. "I'm just gonna shower and go to bed."</p><p>That sounded nice. Renjun's body ached from running around all night, he couldn't wait to finally lie down. But of course, he wouldn't be that lucky.</p><p>His phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out, adjusting the brightness to the dark night so he could hopefully preserve the shitty eyesight he did have, and groaned.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Hyuck said not to come home yet, he and Yangyang are busy."</p><p>"Hyuckie's dating your roommate?"</p><p>"No," Renjun shook his head, though he wasn't sure if he'd be more comfortable with their activities if they were. "He's working."</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"Onlyfans."</p><p>Jaehyun burst out laughing and Taeil spun around to smack his shoulder.</p><p>"Hyuckie does onlyfans," Jaehyun managed to say through his laughter, "and his partner of choice is <em>Yangyang?"</em></p><p>"Hey," Renjun wasn't sure why, but he felt like he needed to defend him. "He's cute—"</p><p>Jaehyun slapped his cheeks a couple times. "But he's so shy!"</p><p>"That's 'cause you've only met him once. I can't get him to shut up half the time. I'm sure Kun would agree."</p><p>Jaehyun paused to shove his empty cup into a trashcan. </p><p>"Who even tops in that relationship?" And when his question went unanswered, he continued, "well, I suppose you don't always <em>need</em> a top—"</p><p>This time, it was Seulgi who turned around to smack Jaehyun.</p><p>Renjun was glad that it was Friday, at least. He couldn't go home, but he didn't have anywhere to be in the morning either. As annoying as it was, there was no real inconvenience. He'd remember to thank Donghyuck for that later.</p><p>After he'd washed his hands.</p><p>They stopped in front of Seulgi's apartment while she fished around in her bag for his keys. "Well, Renjun, good luck. I'd invite you in, but I'm spent. <em>And</em> I'm covering Younghoon's opening shift tomorrow."</p><p>"S'all good, Renjunnie's gonna hang with us tonight," Jaehyun said, pulling Renjun roughly against his side and ruffled his hair.</p><p>"Ah!" Renjun yelled, jerking himself back.</p><p>Seulgi raised her eyebrows. "Again, good luck, Renjun."</p><p>"I'll need it."</p><p>They didn't start walking again until she disappeared inside. Taeil turned to face them, spreading his hands in question. "Smash brothers?" He looked at Jaehyun, "Smash brothers? Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm down for some smash bros."</p><p>-</p><p>Taeil and Renjun lived in the same apartment complex. They passed Renjun's door as they walked down the hall to Taeil's apartment, and Jaehyun giggled, no doubt thinking of ways to bother Donghyuck about whatever was going on inside later.</p><p>Yuta, Taeil's boyfriend, was sitting on the floor, notes layed out in front of him on the coffee table, and on the floor around him.</p><p>He had a bowl of popcorn in his lap, and heavy music playing loudly from a bluetooth speaker across the room.</p><p>"Yuta, I just vacuumed!" Taeil said as he picked a few pieces of popcorn off the floor.</p><p>"I was saving those for you, Illie!" Yuta shouted over the music, though his eyes ever left his paper. "Put those in your mouth. Enjoy that."</p><p>Taeil turned off the speaker and glared at him, but he didn't notice. He was too busy writing.</p><p>"How can you work with so much noise?"</p><p>Yuta finally looked up from his paper and pushed his hair back from his face. "I just can," then he noticed Jaehyun, "Jaehyun!"</p><p>Jaehyun responded by moving to sit on the vacant couch behind him, going out of his way to knock Yuta's shoulders around as he got comfortable. "Whatcha doing?"</p><p>"I have a couple tests, I'm just studying."</p><p>Yuta had started as a Japanese exchange student in highschool. He returned to Japan for his senior year, decided he liked Korea, and ended up moving back after graduation. He was accepted into a university not too far from where he lived with Taeil, on a full athletic scholarship. All of this Renjun had heard from Taeil in parts over the years they'd worked together.</p><p>Renjun had never seen Yuta play soccer before, but he'd heard from several others who went to school with him (Jaehyun, Mark, Jeno, to name a few) that he was <em>really</em> good. He had to be, if he'd received a scholarship for it.</p><p>He remembered a few years ago, Mark had mentioned helping Yuta learn how to skate. In highschool, Mark had been the captain of their schools hockey team (Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Hyuck, and Jisung all went to school together. Renjun was the only one who didn't play hockey). Mark and Jeno went to the same college Yuta did, and were now on the hockey team there.</p><p>As it turned out, Yuta's athletic abilities stretched much further than they'd all thought, and after only a year of lessons from Mark, Yuta was able to join the hockey team.</p><p>He had seen Yuta play hockey, though, when he and Donghyuck had gone to watch Mark and Jeno. Yuta was a <em>very</em> effective enforcer.</p><p>The first time Renjun had met Yuta —which was when he and Taeil moved down the hall from him well over a year ago— he couldn't believe that the man standing before him in white heart sunglasses and a pink t-shirt covered in tiny red hearts (of fucking course he had his sleeves bunched up to show off his tattoos), was the super talented, incredible athlete that Taeil always gushed about at work. He had platinum, shoulder length hair tied in a half-up/half-down situation, he even had a red bandana wrapped around his head. He looked like he got caught in a Valentine's clearance bin.</p><p>And even now, after knowing him as long as he had, he still looked like he got caught in a Valentine's clearance bin most of the time. But Renjun also learned a thing or two about the importance of duality, which Yuta had also mastered.</p><p>"Fucking Christ—why are there three glasses on the counter?" Taeil suddenly called from the kitchen, "Since when are there three people living here, Yuta?"</p><p>"<em>Not yet."</em></p><p>"Rinse the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher! Oh my god, what are we? Animals?"</p><p>"Are you mad?" Yuta asked as he put his many papers away into an already overflowing binder.</p><p>"No, I'm not mad," Taeil said, pulling dishes out of the dishwasher to rinse them off, then put them back in. "I'm disappointed. And quite mad."</p><p>"Not yet?" Jaehyun asked. Renjun wasn't going to think much on what Yuta had said, but since he'd asked, he found himself looking to Yuta for an explanation. "Who's gonna live with you guys?"</p><p>"Dong Sicheng," Yuta replied dreamily, a heavy blush traveling from his cheeks to his ears as he said the name.</p><p>"Dong Sicheng?" Renjun repeated. "Like, the contemporary dancer? <em>My</em> dance partner?"</p><p>Yuta nodded, a shy grin plastered across his face.</p><p>"Dong Sicheng wants to third wheel you guys?"</p><p>"Well, we haven't asked him," Taeil said. "We're going to. Probably. I don't know. He's just so . . ."</p><p>"Perfect."</p><p>Taeil nodded. "Right. Perfect."</p><p>Jaehyun looked completely lost. "I'm sorry, aren't you two dating?"</p><p>"Yeah, what about it?"</p><p>At this point, Renjun would rather have just sit outside his door, waiting for the okay to come inside.</p><p>He hoped Donghyuck would text him soon.</p><p>At some point, while Renjun had been lost in thought, Taeil seemed to remember that he'd brought him along. He gasped and threw a hand towel down on the counter. "Renjun!"</p><p>"Taeil!"</p><p>"I'm so sorry, I forgot you were here!"</p><p>"Don't worry. That's my specialty."</p><p>Taeil walked back around the counter and moved towards him with open arms. Renjun stood in place while Taeil hugged him, but he didn't complain (which was more than he usually did).</p><p>"How are you, Renjunnie? You were so angry today, did you have a bad shift?"</p><p>"Not any worse than usual."</p><p>"You just seemed different."</p><p>"I started new meds, that's probably why. Prozac."</p><p>Yuta snorted. "Professional Zachary."</p><p>"Yuta, oh my god."</p><p>"You laughed, I'm off the hook!"</p><p>Renjun ended up playing a couple rounds of Smash Brothers with Jaehyun, Yuta, and Taeil. He did alright, though he didn't have nearly as much practice as the others.</p><p>Eventually he opted out for watching them play, and Jaehyun followed not too long after. With permission from Taeil, he pulled his pipe out from his bag and started packing a new bowl.</p><p>So he sat there, overly aware of how his body ached all over and cried for sleep while simultaneously getting the mother of all contact high's.</p><p>After packing a new bowl, Jaehyun offered the pipe to him. Renjun didn't smoke often, not that he didn't like it (because he definitely did), he didn't feel the need to go out and buy stuff for himself when he worked with Jaehyun, who shared everything he had. What a guy.</p><p><em>Finally</em>, he thought as his phone vibrated in his pocket. <em>Please be done, please be done, please be done.</em></p><p>It was from Yangyang.</p><p>
  <em>-Hyuck's in the shower, you can come back whenever</em>
</p><p>Renjun's entire body seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, as he suddenly wasn't completely overwhelmed with exhaustion.</p><p>Taeil frowned when he stood up. "You're leaving?"</p><p>"Yeah, thanks for letting me hang out here."</p><p>"Renjun, you're always welcome."</p><p>"Yeah, you could show up at any time, I don't think Taeil would care at all," Yuta said, pausing the game. "You could break in and he would still bake you cookies."</p><p>"I'll keep that in mind next time I feel like breaking in somewhere."</p><p>_</p><p>Kun wasn't back when Renjun arrived, though he'd been working late so that wasn't too out of the ordinary.</p><p>Donghyuck was putting on his shoes as Renjun stepped inside. He looked up through wet bangs and grinned. "Hi, baby!"</p><p>"Hyuckie," Renjun allowed Donghyuck to give him a hug, even hugged him back. Rare, but Renjun was tired, and he wasn't mean enough to reject him all the time. "You look very . . . awake."</p><p>Donghyuck was all smiles, almost bouncing in place. His eyes were bright and shining, and his cheeks were flushed pink. Though, Renjun thought he knew the reason for that.</p><p>"I slept all day," he said just as Yangyang emerged from the hallway. "It's like late morning for me."</p><p>"You're crazy."</p><p>"Please, what about people who work nights?"</p><p>"You don't work nights."</p><p>"So? I'm just saying some people do. What about Kun?"</p><p>"Kun doesn't work nights, he just doesn't know how to say 'no'."</p><p>Donghyuck shrugged. "He should learn," he patted Renjun's cheek and frowned. "You look awful, Injunnie."</p><p>"I feel awful."</p><p>"I'll go then. Do you work tomorrow?"</p><p>Renjun shook his head. </p><p>"Good. Get some sleep."</p><p>Donghyuck gave Renjun another hug, this one much tighter than the last, but again, Renjun didn't complain. Before he stepped out of the apartment, he turned and waved, "Bye Yangie!"</p><p>Yangyang just nodded and gave a small wave.</p><p>That wasn't normal, usually Yangyang wouldn't stop talking long enough to let anyone leave that quickly. </p><p>"You tired?" Renjun asked, only to receive another nod. "Come on then."</p><p>Their apartment was a two bedroom. Renjun and Yangyang shared the master bedroom so Kun could have his own. He didn't mind sharing, most of the time. Sometimes Yangyang could be a bit much, and Renjun would need time to himself to recharge, but it happened so rarely that he hardly considered it a problem.</p><p>Yangyang waited silently while Renjun changed out of his work clothes and into sweats. Normally, he would shower after work, but whatever was wrong with Yangyang was much more important. He'd shower in the morning.</p><p>"How come Hyuckie never asks me to help him take pics?"</p><p>"Because you'd say no."</p><p>"So? It'd still feel nice to be asked."</p><p>"I'll let him know."</p><p>Yangyang sat on his bed with his blankets gathered in a pile on his lap. He leaned forward, resting his chin on them.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>Yangyang shrugged.</p><p>"Yangie . . . "</p><p>"I don't really know. I just don't really feel that great."</p><p>"Are you sick?"</p><p>"No, nothing like that."</p><p>When Yangyang didn't explain further, Renjun pulled himself out of his own bed, despite finally getting comfortable.</p><p>Yangyang didn't need to explain anything, Renjun understood. He sat down next to him and pulled him into his arms.</p><p>"Is it Donghyuck?"</p><p>"I don't think so," Yangyang said, shifting in Renjun's arms so he was leaning back against his chest. Renjun was smaller than him, but right now, Yangyang almost seemed to shrink. "I'm just tired."</p><p>"School?"</p><p>"School, work," Yangyang sighed. "It really sucks. I know I chose to do this, but right now it just feels like I'm stuck. It's weird, I should be happy to have a career lined up and everything. I'm almost there! But then I'm just going to be stuck there, probably forever."</p><p>Renjun blinked. Yangyang's problem was almost the exact opposite of his own, Renjun was panicking because he didn't have a single clue what he was going to do with his life. But at the same time, it made complete sense. He wouldn't want to be stuck working the same boring job for the rest of his life.</p><p>"The whole world does it though, '9 to 5' until retirement. And everyone's okay with it."</p><p>Yangyang carefully turned around to face Renjun, before leaning forward and resting his chin on his shoulder. "Maybe I just need to grow up some more."</p><p>"I don't want you to grow up."</p><p>Renjun definitely hadn't planned on having an existential crisis that night. All he'd wanted to do was go home and sleep. But Yangyang's own problems dug up Renjun's poorly buried baggage —to which he decided maybe he should lighten the load a bit.</p><p>"I keep thinking," Renjun paused to make sure Yangyang was okay. He started to pet his hair before continuing, "I'm just a little thing on a giant space rock. I'm just a tiny blip in the universe. We're just tiny little things on a space rock. I'm a speck."</p><p>Renjun's eyes widened.</p><p>"I'm a who! Horton hears a what? Me."</p><p>Yangyang hummed. "The space rock is also just a speck. You know, compared to the galaxy and all. And the galaxy is a speck too."</p><p>Renjun's throat tightened and he choked out a laugh. "Yeah, well . . . are we both gonna cry tonight? Is that what we're gonna do?"</p><p>"Kun's missing out on a party."</p><p>They sat in silence for a while more. Just as Renjun was about to move back to his own bed, he heard soft snores from his shoulder. He struggled to lean back far enough to look, and sure enough, Yangyang had passed out on top of him.</p><p>"Damn it," he muttered. Should he stay there? He knew whenever Ten brought his cat over, and it fell asleep on any of them, they'd never move. But Yangyang wasn't a cat. So he moved.</p><p>Luckily, he didn't wake up. He did, however, roll over on top of his pile of blankets.</p><p>Renjun struggled to tug them out from under him (either Yangyang was a lot heavier than he looked or Renjun needed to work out), and sloppily tucked him in. He didn't have the energy to straighten them out or make sure they actually fell the long way. Yangyang could fix his own blankets in the morning.</p><p>Just as Renjun was about to settle into his own bed, he heard the front door unlock. Kun was back.</p><p>Kun was very good at being quiet. Once he was inside, Renjun couldn't hear a thing. Still, he hadn't seen him in a while, so he decided to at least bid the elder goodnight.</p><p>"Kun," Renjun called softly, shuffling into the living room.</p><p>Kun was hanging up his jacket when he heard his name. He turned, taking a moment to find Renjun in the dark. "You're still up?"</p><p>"I was about to go to bed."</p><p>"You didn't have to come out here."</p><p>"I know that," Renjun shrugged. "I don't see you much. That's all."</p><p>Kun smiled. "You miss me?"</p><p>"No—"</p><p>"You do!"</p><p>"No, it's more for you. I come see you because I know you miss me."</p><p>"Alright Injunnie," Kun said, reaching out to push his shoulder. "Go to bed."</p><p>"Wait," Renjun said as Kun started to turn away. Kun looked back with his brows raised in question. "Have you talked to Yangyang at all lately?"</p><p>"Yeah, I saw him last night. He said he wanted me to treat him to lunch soon —because I don't do that enough, apparently. Why?"</p><p>So Yangyang hadn't said anything to Kun. Maybe he'd only been having a hard time tonight. Maybe it wasn't an ongoing issue. Or maybe it was, and he'd only confided in Renjun.</p><p>He didn't know why, but he hoped it wasn't a bigger problem than Yangyang had made it out to be. Hopefully, it was just a small worry, one that would pass in a few days, maybe he'd even feel better in the morning.</p><p>"Just wondering. Goodnight, Kun."</p>
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